lost in america

I'm looking for a girl with a job and a car, and a house... with wifi.
getting a decent job has become as difficult as getting into an ivy league university. everything I apply for turns out to be a spam-bot looking to sell me education online. they don't care if I've looked at their catalog or even WANT to go to their school. they just want to know if it's credit or debit!
Spam-Bot: "what course are you interested in?"
ME: "I don't even know what courses you have!"
SB: "we're going to contact these..."
ME: "please don't!"
SB: "online schools for you. expect a phone call from them today"
ME: "this is a machine, isn't it?"
this is what happened when I applied for a warehouse job! they probably posted a fake ad for the job to lure in people such as myself: no education beyond high school, no money, thinking about going to college but balking at the spam-bot presentation methods, a few years of work experience to REALLY convince you that further indoctrination is necessary. it's all the same!
i don't think I'll ever reply to an online posting ever again. exceptions: craigslist musical instruments (fake ibanez for $95 ain't too bad)
in closing:
DON'T APPLY OR REPLY TO ANYTHING ONLINE! (unless you know there's a human on the other end)