west wynd project

I haven't worked on MY stuff in a while. I think that will happen tomorrow. I have 2 chords and a melody that I want to use on the grishnackh album. hopefully, a song will be born. I'm just not feeling that polarized and beginning of a new end stuff these days. must be living with my parents steers me towards the black metal side of my musical personality. what I'd REALLY like to do is a whole black metal album that's really dark, forboding, and gloomy without using distortion on any instrument. I know varg v did it already, but I want to do it too. I'd like to copy the good things that the count did like creating lots of music and writing a megalithic diatribe on society.
speaking of black metal, I was just downloading some really dark stuff from another blogspot site. type "depressive black metal" into google and go to the first link. beware: viri are known to hang out there. my computer is already doing wonky stuff that my paid antivirus program won't fix, so it would be like shooting a corpse if they infected me.
another thing about living with my parents is the amount of coffee drinking and tobacco smoking that I do has increased exponentially. I'm also eating more because I don't have to pay for food. i guess i balance myself in this way.

when I lived on my own, my intake list was:
bagel w/ creme cheese
rice w/ vegetables
beer
LOTS of robitussin
smoked: cigars
smoked: cannabis
sometimes fast food
pb&j
organic cereal w/ soy milk
vitamins
psyllium shakes
coffee
pretzels

with parents:
bagel w/ creme cheese (can't change a good thing!)
toxic meat sandwich w/ cheese
soda
coffee
bananas
whatever my mom cooks for dinner
smoked: pipe

that's even more depressing than the darkest black metal. my fav things got taken off the list when I moved here. I can do the harmful drugs that hurt my body and aren't any fun, but anything that's fun got removed! when's the last time that a chronic abuser of cough medicine died? when they died from non-dxm related causes. all these deaths that you hear about are from intentional overdose (3000+ mg), or from kids being stupid (first few times took wrong thing or body couldn't process) nobody's out there kicking the bucket with massive amounts of empties in their house. if you know what you're doing (like I do), then it ain't no thang!
tolerance develops very quickly though. one week you're having a blast with 2 bottles, next week 3 doesn't really cut it anymore. for f's sake, I was up to 4 and having to do it quick in order to get any type of effects. there have been times when I swear I could take down 6 over a few hours and still have fun. that's another thing too. you have to hit the mark without overdoing it if you want the right type of fun. overshoot that mark and you'll be in a bad place very quickly. underestimate, and you'll have to wait out a sub-par experience or risk re-dosing. how many times you do it without sleeping is a heavily debated subject. some say you shouldn't even go for 2, but I found that pretty fun! 3 gets sketchy, and after that you can't remember the last time you slept. slow and fast dosing is a choice too. slow dosing makes you feel normal, but your brain gets fucked pretty hard. it's like you take it, forget you took it, and eventually you wonder what happened. where did your sanity go? quick is more fun to me. slam them fuckers asap and it creeps over you like magic. definitely more physical effects that way. i think there's less of what the doctors called "hearing voices" too.
my concepts on preceived voices during a dxm experience:
this stuff is a dissociative. that means it detaches everything, shuffles, and plays 52 card pick up if you know what I mean. some of the "voices" come from non-vocal sources. the refrigerator running, computer whirr, that kind of stuff. these things are misinterperated by your fucked up state of mind as human voices. some come from within. your thoughts turned into audible words to you. of course, these 2 factors work together to produce the "voices" that people hear from this stuff.
didn't mean to go off on a dxm tangent, but to summarize, I like to hit the nail on the head as far as dosage goes in a quick ingestion type of way and repeat dose at least once before I go to bed. to quote lyrics from a guns n roses song, "can't stop thinkin' 'bout doin' it one more time!"