pointless impossibility

I've come up against some challenges in the past that should have been avoided. I face one now as well: finding a job.
why should I get a job? so i can almost be independent again? sure, I'll be able to pay for rent, electric bill, internet service, food, gas for my car... but what about my cell phone bill? car insurance? these things are expensive. my natural inclination then is to get a job in brockport. then I won't need the damned car. that would free up TONS of money to pay my cell phone with. imagine if I didn't have to do 2-5 hundred dollar repairs on that stupid thing every few months.
if I do get said regular job, it will drive me insane again just like any other job. this will lead to substance abuse in an effort to make my mind capable of dealing with the work day. when I'm not at work, I'll be doing drugs.
college is an option. what to study is the most difficult question in the world. I'll either like it and not be able to make money when I finish, or hate it and get a boring job when it's done.
tough questions to answer whatever way you look at it. it's also a lose lose situation no matter what. the only good outcome I could imagine is a computer programming job where I work from home and can do while I'm waiting for chemicals to kick in.

indoctrinate u

I just watched half of indoctrinate u on yahoo video. I don't think it's named correctly. it was all about racism at universities. not a very broad subject matter compared to the title. during the first half hour, I thought it might just be part of the documentary, but no. it's all of it.
the verdict:
it gets a 2/10 on the wake-up scale. they talk lots about very little information. makes me want to make a documentary though. just because I know I could make a better one.
MY documentary:
being a poor white boy in small town america.
idea for scene:
I walk into the credit union with money to make an account. flashback to my dad telling me to do so. let him spout for a little while about how good an idea it is. flash forward to credit union, I walk up to the teller and am redirected to the other representative. i am asked if I qualify, to which I reply that my dad is a member. flashback to him telling me how great it is. rep tells me my dad is not a member and because I don't go to church or work on main street, I don't qualify. I thank him for his time and leave.
another scene:
I go to every business in town and ask for an application (hair out). most won't even let me apply. applications are filled out and turned in. flash forward to a week or 2 later. I sit in my room with no job, haven't had a single call about any applications.
repeat process with hair under hat. let's see what happens! does the length of my hair determine how well I can do a job? do they employ female members of the workforce with long hair? what's the difference?

it's so boring to live here! I thought I was bored at my place drinking any potions I wanted, that was comparatively fun! i wish i could just jump in the car and go buy some robitussin. i even wish I was freaking out from taking too much of a good thing. better than sitting here trying to find good videos only to be disappointed.