pointless impossibility

I've come up against some challenges in the past that should have been avoided. I face one now as well: finding a job.
why should I get a job? so i can almost be independent again? sure, I'll be able to pay for rent, electric bill, internet service, food, gas for my car... but what about my cell phone bill? car insurance? these things are expensive. my natural inclination then is to get a job in brockport. then I won't need the damned car. that would free up TONS of money to pay my cell phone with. imagine if I didn't have to do 2-5 hundred dollar repairs on that stupid thing every few months.
if I do get said regular job, it will drive me insane again just like any other job. this will lead to substance abuse in an effort to make my mind capable of dealing with the work day. when I'm not at work, I'll be doing drugs.
college is an option. what to study is the most difficult question in the world. I'll either like it and not be able to make money when I finish, or hate it and get a boring job when it's done.
tough questions to answer whatever way you look at it. it's also a lose lose situation no matter what. the only good outcome I could imagine is a computer programming job where I work from home and can do while I'm waiting for chemicals to kick in.