new blog

I'm switching blogs again, so here's a list of all my sites.
my pages

blog
http://www.zzajlatem.blogspot.com/
http://www.sheastofdefecation.blogspot.com/
http://www.ludumu.blogspot.com/

you tube
http://www.youtube.com/user/zzajlatem9501

myspace
http://www.myspace.com/9501westwind

weebly
http://lugubriousdungeonmusic.weebly.com/

a fork in the road

I'm at the crossroads and forgot to bring my nocs. oh, shit! if you don't get it, go watch professor brothers. it's good for your head. seriously.
I can almost make out what lies down either path though. here's the deal:
tomorrow at 1pm, I'm going to adecco to be interviewed for being a temp. if full time employees are indentured servants, then a temp is a slave and massa might not even keep them around for very long. the job that I will get if I "succeed" at this is swing shift, meaning a rotating schedule around the clock. I'll start in the morning for a little while, then afternoon, then night. not a pleasant way to treat a human. I will make money at this and if I'm lucky, I'll be able to afford an apartment sometime and work the rest of my life to keep it.
down the other road, I can see construction tools. it hasn't been built yet. I could be the one to build it, to determine it's properties. will it be a rough road? it may start off haphazard and dookish, but it will smooth out nicely once I figure out how to build it right. I'm talking about finding a way to make income without a "slave to the clock" job here, if you haven't figured it out yet.
I'm not talking about some crazy "get rich quick" scheme. logan would be one of the first to accuse me of such things, right after charlie, but that's not it at all. but if it was, I'd be the guy selling the get rich quick scheme and be the only one who actually gets rich from it!
regular jobs make me sick. there's got to be something out there for ME to do in this world. something where I have control over what goes on. I don't function well with orders that are "handed down from above". I always want to know where those instructions came from and what makes the person who initiated them so fucking powerful that they can tell me what to do. what did they do to get there?
the last answer I got was that they own the company. people start businesses all the time and lots (not percentage, but total number) actually work out and make money. who says I shouldn't own the fucking company?
does alex jones work a 9-5 cash-grind into the grave? fuck no! he started out like wikipedia says "He began his career in Austin with a live, call-in format cable access television program." david icke was a sports presenter who used to be an athlete. this wasn't exactly a path to international conspiracy theorist. somehow these guys get paid to talk about what THEY want to talk about.
many other people in the world get paid to do even less than just talk. some get paid to type. some get paid for what they wear, some get paid to convince other people to buy something that doesn't exist in this physical reality! ever heard of a subscription to a website? my point is, there are ways to make money that don't involve going to a job for a set amount of time day in and day out just to squeek by and damage your mental health in the process.
a new quest has begun! this quest has an outcome that can be measured based on what I'm doing and where I'm doing it. next year at this time, if I'm not at work, but I'm getting paid, I am doing an awesome job of whatever I'm doing. I will be posting mostly material to do with this, at least for a little while. kind of a "how to find out how to make money without a job" thing based on personal experience.
LET THE QUEST BEGIN!

different folks

people put some weird shite on the internet.
http://pipesmagazine.com/pipe-smoking-females-girls-smoking-pipes-pipe-babes/
put that link in your pipe and smoke it! pun intended!
if you're too lazy to go look for yourself, it's pictures of women smoking pipes. I looked at one of the sets and wondered if people somewhere are jacking off to this. probably.
there are tons of sites that tell you how to smoke a pipe. if you're considering this activity (or lack there-of as it is a sedentary action), I've got my own instructions.
1. dip the pipe through the tobacco to fill it. stuff it down with your finger and repeat until full.
2. light it and try to smoke it.
3. the filling will try to extract itself from the pipe. push this down with your lighter.
4. light it again. repeat steps 3 and 4 until it stays in and all glows red on top.
5. when it's spent, dig out the bowl with a small tool. I use a screwdriver.
6. dump it out by tapping it on the ash tray.
7. blow through it.
8. go back to step 1.
any flaws in your technique will point themselves out as it won't work right. if something goes wrong, do like russel church (my old boss at the bike shop) says and "FUCKING FIGURE IT OUT!" seriously, if you've ever smoked pot, smoking tobacco pipes is like second nature.
I know a spliff is a rolled tobacco and pot hybrid, what do you call it in a pipe? what I'd really like is a 50-50 blend of cannabis and english style pipe tobacco topped with a good quantity of opium. yummyness!
anyway, I can't seem to find a good guide on types of pipes. I'm pretty tired of ye olde corncob.

internet quest comes to an end

well, I've pretty much exhausted the internet. there's nothing left on it that I haven't seen or heard about. I've watched all the conspiracy movies and all the good regular movies too. it's a pillaged and plundered wasteland of dead links and videos that don't work. this was bound to happen at some point. I'm going to find something not computer related to do.

better than nothing

I was just online looking for multitrack recording programs and found 2. between them, I could see a program that I would like and use. alone, they are (like the title here) better than nothing. kristal is very hard to use, but has a level checking meter without recording. audacity is easy to use, but has no such meter. maybe it does and I will find it later. anyway, neither of them compare to a real tascam portastudio 414mkII, but it's better to be able to record something than nothing.
I got real pipe tobacco the other night. it smells funky and tastes like it smells, but it burns a lot longer than what I was using. this type is called "westminster" and I got it at the dewey ave. smoke shop. when I walked in, I was greeted by a display of bongs and glass bowls that would make logan cream his pants. the whole store was so full of stuff, it was like a "where's waldo" picture. i could have spent hours just looking at every item in there without knowing what half of it was. the guys there were cool and let me smell a few different blends from their wall of square glass jars. I admired the pipes under the glass counter because it was FULL of pipes I had only seen on the internet. I know where I'm going when I get some money! fancy pipe and special tobacco sounds pretty cool. I think I'll get a sweeter one because what I picked by smell is kind of dank. it smells like some of the tents that I would walk by at the famous hershey flea market with my dad. we would walk by and there would be this smell eminating from some of the vendors' stalls. this odor would creep up your nostrils and not want to leave. turns out, it was pipe smoke!
while I'm on that tangent, I remember some of the people there smelling like beer too. it was like a grab bag of odors to walk through that place. there were like 5 feilds of vendors and who knows how many old cars. my dad would talk to everyone he met for the longest time. I would get so effing bored standing around that place, but there were other times when it was interesting to see all of the different people and things there. he would never let me buy anything over $5 without walking all day first. something that we had seen in the morning that was uber-ultra-cool like a custom made full suspension bicycle or a hot rc car would be gone by the time we got back to it in the late afternoon. I should have looked at this experience as a thing to be sampled and left where it lay. I would have enjoyed it lots more that way.
I remember waking up SO EFFING EARLY to hit the road in an effort to get there before noon. we always stopped at this restaurant on the side of a mountain for breakfast. it was called "the turkey ranch" and they had those brain teaser puzzles with pegs in a board on the tables. the first few times we went, we borrowed his friend's van to sleep in and listened to classical music during the drive because that's all his friend kept in there.
the flea market area was mostly grass and it was famous for rain. I remember the brown field (they labeled fields by color) really seeming like hershey was a great place to hold this event. catch the dook reference?
well, that's about enough of my trip down memory lane. I'm posting the first picture I found that seemed like it was of this place, so you can see how big it was. when I went there, I was about 10 years old, so it seemed even bigger to me. and more boring...

new instrument

this afternoon I was awakened by the sound of my phone getting messages. it was tj. he needed an electric bass and was willing to trade an acoustic one for it. I fixed the aria pro II and we traded. first time I ever traded tj something that I wasn't using and didn't need. the acoustic bass is crap. it looks like someone almost broke the headstock off and it's got nasty sticker stuff in 2 places. the "wood grain" is painted on in the wrong direction. they painted across the grain, so it looks uber-fake. I see why he put a heineken sticker on the head, because it says "playmate" where the sticker was. tj took a "ninja school" sticker off the bass while he was here. after he left, I found it on the bottom of my shoe. hope he didn't want to save it! I just looked up the bass online and it turns out that tj may be the one who painted it with fake wood grain. he said he got it used, so maybe it was the person before him who defiled this instrument. I'm including a picture pre-paintjob.
while he was here, tj showed me the music that he's making with shawn and their drummer. it sounds like marilyn manson doing early psychedelic rock. not that there's anything wrong with that.
I just put in a qfg2 session. some hall practice, defeated the earth elemental, listened to omar, took care of julanar, got the dispel potion, took care of the caged beast. pretty productive! if only I could be that productive in real life.

endless boredom...

I'm SO BORED!!!
talk about having nothing to do, the 4 track doesn't even work. I tried it again today only to get warbly recordings. it's been like 4 days since the coffee incident and rewinding is still a problem. obviously playback and record are problems too.
I worked a little in the reading music book today, but not much. this is the most difficult guitar book I have ever owned. speed mechanics for lead and understanding chord progressions seem easy in comparison.
I've also been watching some sub-par documentaries because I have already seen all the really good ones. one I watched today included a young bill schnoebelen. that's the dude in the picture.
yesterday I added on to the rats' castle (picture also included).
all of my stuff is in to MCC. I should probably call them sometime to see if they got it. I had to fill out 3 applications to get everything because their website is all fucked up like everyone else's.
logan requested some videos on youtube. I'll try to make some, but my camera doesn't work very well.
this is what really pisses me off. I'm so bored all the time and so miserable, but when I try to do something, I'm working with broken equipment and eft computer shit. positive results are almost impossible without the proper tools. it's like trying to write music without knowing a damn thing about it. no, wait, that's called alternative rock. it's more like trying to fix your car with only a flat head screwdriver and some pliers. you might get something done, but it definitely won't be as good as having a whole tool box.
oh, my cell phone is broken too. the screen doesn't stay on when it's open. it has to be jiggled in order to get a flickering idea of what's going on. that can be fixed by going to the store and telling them I need a new one. I wish everything was so easy. my life is broken, what store do I go to in order to get a new one?
the other pictures are of my pipe. it's a lot darker than it's last appearance here.

general bull shite

I'm sticking my filthy digits back in the blig.
the 4 track is ok. I even recorded on it. the counter got sticky from the coffee spill and that probably made rewind not work. when I was recording, rewind was slow and choppy like it was bogged down with coffee.
I got a new book about reading music and cracked into it today. I think it's good because it has examples in which the reader has to figure out what note letter is represented on the staff or draw the note on the staff based on what letter is given. it shows keyboard diagrams and guitar tab with everything that I've read so far. I was matching it up to guitar today, but plan to match keyboard sometime in the future. if I do end up being able to read music after using this book, I believe it will help me immensely as far as music goes. if I could get to a point where I could just be presented sheet music in order to immediately reproduce it on guitar, that would be amazing. if this were true with guitar, keyboard and bass... the possibilities would be endless!
I watched avatar again tonight. I still think it's really cool with a crappy b movie plot and the best CG ever. I like video games that look like movies, so why not a movie that looks like a video game?
well, that's about enough of that. removing digits from blig.

too old too cold

today sucks.
I woke up today and ate breakfast as usual, then spilled coffee all over my desk, myself, my floor and my 4 track recorder. I've felt like I've been in hell so long I'm beginning to believe it. no matter what I do I always fuck it up. nothing works for me. endless google video searches bring up nothing watchable. today andy's pipe brings no comfort. I can't even express my northern darkness in my chosen media.
when I'm done posting, I'll go back to laying on the futon, but now I'll be listening to mental home, one of the darkest bands to ever exist.
I hesitate to call them black metal because it doesn't seem to fit quite right for some undefinable reason.

online job search

you see the title. if you have even tried to perform this action, you know how stupid it is. for those who don't, prepare to get lost in a digital maze of megalithic stupidity. one site will post a job from another site and when you try to follow the trail, you find that all of the "apply now" buttons do nothing but send you on a tangent. I would definitely not reccomend doing this first thing in the morning as it WILL wreck your day.
after that online job search, walking through town where I know there aren't any openings and asking for applications that they grudgingly hand out seems like an awesome idea.

blogging for the sake of the blig

I've been awake since 1pm yesterday. my dad just got up like a little while ago and he's leaving by 9am. at that time, my mom should arrive home from her sleepover. she's going to tell me that I should have been there as a chapperone, but I won't do that because the kids that she supervises there are brainwashed little gremlins. she has groups of middle school and high school students that she runs. some of them are book groups and some are anime groups. none of them put a damned scrap of effort into anything they do in these groups and my mom says "that's ok, I'll lock myself in the library with them all night.". something doesn't add up here.
anyhow, my dad is going to some kind of a swap meet flea market type of deal today with one of his few remaining friends. I am hoping that he will spend a long time there and focus on not being here.
his job gets him out of the house less these days too. he used to work a regular 9-5 job at the university of rochester until he got pissed at his boss and decided that wasn't a cool place to work anymore. now he does some type of work that involves preventative maintenance of heating and cooling systems in schools. he is involved in making computer based walkthroughs of all the equipment. he doesn't go out and collect the information himself and he doesn't program the computer, so that brings up the question, what does he do? he may be the one who convinces the schools to use the system, but it turns out that all of the schools are required to use A system this year. he goes to something called "kick off meetings" when they begin to work at a new school. considering his arrogance and lack of any meaningful function, my best guess is that he tells everyone how awesome thinks he is for no good reason.
I am currently unemployed. I spend most of my time hanging out with my rat, playing guitar and watching videos on the internet. the problem is that I end up doing most of this at night when my parents are sleeping. hence, why I am up at such an hour of the morning. I am trying to get my schedule back into what most people would call a normal time frame. I get the feeling that there are not many jobs in this area and with a resume as bad as mine, most of the few that there are wouldn't want to hire me anyway.
so, that's way more info about my crazy family than anyone would ever want to know. I hope you enjoyed the picture of my mom, who until this point has been spoken of, but never had a picture here.

dario argento's twos

after viewing the films suspiria and inferno (both by dario argento), I have concluded that I don't like his work. it's always some type of murder mystery and the sound comes in toos: too loud or too quiet. that must be one of the secrets that future film makers learn in movie school. make the soundtrack of your film in an effort to blow speakers manowar style and make all of the characters whisper their dialogue so it can barely be heard. does this seem like a bad idea to anyone else? I'll never know because nobody reads my blog and nobody comments on it.

super heros and super villains

my dad is getting more intolerable by the day. my mom even comments on how difficult it is to listen to him. I've dubbed his super-villain persona as "captain hubris". i try to talk as little as possible because with him thinking he's the only person who's always right, it's best to not fuel his arrogance with any words that he might have an opinion on.
the other picture is rick, or as logan dubbed him, "el grasso" he's clearly a super hero (unless you happen to be a lawn) as he is involved in grass 24 hours a day. if he's not cutting it, he's growing it or smoking it.

difference between good and bad

I have heard of 2 movies coming out on the same topic: the original black metal scene. one will be good and the other will be bad.
until the light takes us will be good. it is a documentary film on the subject including interviews with the real people.
lords of chaos will be bad. it's supposed to be a dook-ass hollywood flick with teen heart-throbs playing the part of grim and frostbitten musicians. I'd like to prepare them for their roles. this would consist of forcing them to do the things that the originals did. whoever plays pelle would have to sleep on a bed full of dead animals when he's not burying himself for a few days at a time and the actor chosen to portray varg would have to actually murder someone and burn down some churches. others might have to run an unsuccessful record store or try to make it in a music business that doesn't want them. teaching themselves to play black metal would be mandatory for all involved.
fuck hollywood.

up late for no reason again

yeah, I'm just sitting here at my computer because I can't sleep. I tried to go to bed at like 12:30, but couldn't even though I woke up at 11:30 today. it seems I only have energy to be awake at night. I was tired all day and tried to take a nap twice, but to no avail.
I just keep thinking about terrible things like my life. for fuck's sake, there is a warning on craigslist about me. I'm 27 and living with my parents. most humans don't have to deal with this type of thing. when I lay down to attempt sleep, all I can think about is things that I've fucked up in the past. it's like this constant gag reel and I'm the butt of every joke.
this is no way to post! I should be blasting my unholy word-fire at the world!
only problem is that the problem is me.
WELL...
fuck the andychrist! he hasn't done jack shit for anyone, even himself! that worthless asshole should have a public execution so everyone can make sure he's dead. I'm pretty sure he's banned in a few states that only heard of him by word of mouth. I hear there's an article on infowars where alex jones says "the andychrist is more toxic than fluoride and mercury combined. the federal government is working on a program right now to make him immortal.".
maybe i was right to call myself the american count grishnackh. I've got the same type of reputation for solitary darkness and introspective hell.

I miss my dxm!

I get all choked up thinking about cherry flavored syrups. the thought of tussin space almost brings tears to my eyes. oh, to slam bottle after bottle of robitussin like the days of yore! to meet aliens again or experience the end of the universe!
I find myself surfing those drug sites where everyone refers to themselves as swim and the ones where dosages are listed at the top of the page. but to what end? it's not like I'll be getting any of that red, red goodness any time soon.
I even saved some pictures to my computer (I'll post them here) by an artist who does mainly tussin or mouse pictures. it's a shame he doesn't have any tussin AND mouse pics!
how will I cope with this shite life until I can once again ravage the dextroverse with reckless abandon? to pervert a line from the dark crystal, today andy's pipe gives no comfort.
I drink coffee all day long and into the night. I sit at my computer long into the night, not hitting the sheets til at least 3am. I smoke the mundane tobacco, and still my soul cries out! I do my best to fill my time with guitars and internet. I record music almost every day and I torrent against my parents' wishes but still the very fiber of my being longs to be back in that familiar territory. it seems alien to everyone else, but to me, it's HOME. and I am ever so homesick...

bye bye, batmobile?

my cousin took my car to fix it and when my dad talked to him on the phone, he said that there is something very wrong. apparently, the head gasket is damaged. this is a very costly repair and if some shortcut method doesn't work, I will have to drive a buick roadmaster that has been set aside for me. it needs very little work and is supposed to be a very good car that will last a very long time.
let's compare the vehicles here: firebird looks really cool and has a cassette deck. mp3 playing ability is easy with the "tape on a string" method. the roadmaster looks like you need white hair to drive it and has a cd player. mp3 capability is limited. when burning cds, not much fits per disc and they become damaged easily. on the other hand, the trunk on my firebird has been broken for the longest time, while that of the roadmaster is intact and extremely large. passenger room is also augmented as it is a 4 door model as opposed to a 2 door. driving the firebird feels natural to me, but anyone else would tell you it feels like their ass is an inch from the road. the roadmaster feels like driving a giant marshmellow. here are pictures of the vehicles. I don't know if the roadmaster is exact, but it looks similar.

pipe cleaner madness

it strikes again! i made a demon pulling it's own guts out a la "eaten back to life" and models of the 5 platonic solids, which in this case, are not solid at all.

home studio

here are some pics of where all of my work is done. you can see my guitars, keyboard, drum machine, 4 track recorder, and digital recorder. obviously it's all around my computer desk. this is where the magick happens!