blogging for the sake of the blig

I've been awake since 1pm yesterday. my dad just got up like a little while ago and he's leaving by 9am. at that time, my mom should arrive home from her sleepover. she's going to tell me that I should have been there as a chapperone, but I won't do that because the kids that she supervises there are brainwashed little gremlins. she has groups of middle school and high school students that she runs. some of them are book groups and some are anime groups. none of them put a damned scrap of effort into anything they do in these groups and my mom says "that's ok, I'll lock myself in the library with them all night.". something doesn't add up here.
anyhow, my dad is going to some kind of a swap meet flea market type of deal today with one of his few remaining friends. I am hoping that he will spend a long time there and focus on not being here.
his job gets him out of the house less these days too. he used to work a regular 9-5 job at the university of rochester until he got pissed at his boss and decided that wasn't a cool place to work anymore. now he does some type of work that involves preventative maintenance of heating and cooling systems in schools. he is involved in making computer based walkthroughs of all the equipment. he doesn't go out and collect the information himself and he doesn't program the computer, so that brings up the question, what does he do? he may be the one who convinces the schools to use the system, but it turns out that all of the schools are required to use A system this year. he goes to something called "kick off meetings" when they begin to work at a new school. considering his arrogance and lack of any meaningful function, my best guess is that he tells everyone how awesome thinks he is for no good reason.
I am currently unemployed. I spend most of my time hanging out with my rat, playing guitar and watching videos on the internet. the problem is that I end up doing most of this at night when my parents are sleeping. hence, why I am up at such an hour of the morning. I am trying to get my schedule back into what most people would call a normal time frame. I get the feeling that there are not many jobs in this area and with a resume as bad as mine, most of the few that there are wouldn't want to hire me anyway.
so, that's way more info about my crazy family than anyone would ever want to know. I hope you enjoyed the picture of my mom, who until this point has been spoken of, but never had a picture here.

dario argento's twos

after viewing the films suspiria and inferno (both by dario argento), I have concluded that I don't like his work. it's always some type of murder mystery and the sound comes in toos: too loud or too quiet. that must be one of the secrets that future film makers learn in movie school. make the soundtrack of your film in an effort to blow speakers manowar style and make all of the characters whisper their dialogue so it can barely be heard. does this seem like a bad idea to anyone else? I'll never know because nobody reads my blog and nobody comments on it.

super heros and super villains

my dad is getting more intolerable by the day. my mom even comments on how difficult it is to listen to him. I've dubbed his super-villain persona as "captain hubris". i try to talk as little as possible because with him thinking he's the only person who's always right, it's best to not fuel his arrogance with any words that he might have an opinion on.
the other picture is rick, or as logan dubbed him, "el grasso" he's clearly a super hero (unless you happen to be a lawn) as he is involved in grass 24 hours a day. if he's not cutting it, he's growing it or smoking it.

difference between good and bad

I have heard of 2 movies coming out on the same topic: the original black metal scene. one will be good and the other will be bad.
until the light takes us will be good. it is a documentary film on the subject including interviews with the real people.
lords of chaos will be bad. it's supposed to be a dook-ass hollywood flick with teen heart-throbs playing the part of grim and frostbitten musicians. I'd like to prepare them for their roles. this would consist of forcing them to do the things that the originals did. whoever plays pelle would have to sleep on a bed full of dead animals when he's not burying himself for a few days at a time and the actor chosen to portray varg would have to actually murder someone and burn down some churches. others might have to run an unsuccessful record store or try to make it in a music business that doesn't want them. teaching themselves to play black metal would be mandatory for all involved.
fuck hollywood.

up late for no reason again

yeah, I'm just sitting here at my computer because I can't sleep. I tried to go to bed at like 12:30, but couldn't even though I woke up at 11:30 today. it seems I only have energy to be awake at night. I was tired all day and tried to take a nap twice, but to no avail.
I just keep thinking about terrible things like my life. for fuck's sake, there is a warning on craigslist about me. I'm 27 and living with my parents. most humans don't have to deal with this type of thing. when I lay down to attempt sleep, all I can think about is things that I've fucked up in the past. it's like this constant gag reel and I'm the butt of every joke.
this is no way to post! I should be blasting my unholy word-fire at the world!
only problem is that the problem is me.
WELL...
fuck the andychrist! he hasn't done jack shit for anyone, even himself! that worthless asshole should have a public execution so everyone can make sure he's dead. I'm pretty sure he's banned in a few states that only heard of him by word of mouth. I hear there's an article on infowars where alex jones says "the andychrist is more toxic than fluoride and mercury combined. the federal government is working on a program right now to make him immortal.".
maybe i was right to call myself the american count grishnackh. I've got the same type of reputation for solitary darkness and introspective hell.

I miss my dxm!

I get all choked up thinking about cherry flavored syrups. the thought of tussin space almost brings tears to my eyes. oh, to slam bottle after bottle of robitussin like the days of yore! to meet aliens again or experience the end of the universe!
I find myself surfing those drug sites where everyone refers to themselves as swim and the ones where dosages are listed at the top of the page. but to what end? it's not like I'll be getting any of that red, red goodness any time soon.
I even saved some pictures to my computer (I'll post them here) by an artist who does mainly tussin or mouse pictures. it's a shame he doesn't have any tussin AND mouse pics!
how will I cope with this shite life until I can once again ravage the dextroverse with reckless abandon? to pervert a line from the dark crystal, today andy's pipe gives no comfort.
I drink coffee all day long and into the night. I sit at my computer long into the night, not hitting the sheets til at least 3am. I smoke the mundane tobacco, and still my soul cries out! I do my best to fill my time with guitars and internet. I record music almost every day and I torrent against my parents' wishes but still the very fiber of my being longs to be back in that familiar territory. it seems alien to everyone else, but to me, it's HOME. and I am ever so homesick...

bye bye, batmobile?

my cousin took my car to fix it and when my dad talked to him on the phone, he said that there is something very wrong. apparently, the head gasket is damaged. this is a very costly repair and if some shortcut method doesn't work, I will have to drive a buick roadmaster that has been set aside for me. it needs very little work and is supposed to be a very good car that will last a very long time.
let's compare the vehicles here: firebird looks really cool and has a cassette deck. mp3 playing ability is easy with the "tape on a string" method. the roadmaster looks like you need white hair to drive it and has a cd player. mp3 capability is limited. when burning cds, not much fits per disc and they become damaged easily. on the other hand, the trunk on my firebird has been broken for the longest time, while that of the roadmaster is intact and extremely large. passenger room is also augmented as it is a 4 door model as opposed to a 2 door. driving the firebird feels natural to me, but anyone else would tell you it feels like their ass is an inch from the road. the roadmaster feels like driving a giant marshmellow. here are pictures of the vehicles. I don't know if the roadmaster is exact, but it looks similar.

pipe cleaner madness

it strikes again! i made a demon pulling it's own guts out a la "eaten back to life" and models of the 5 platonic solids, which in this case, are not solid at all.

home studio

here are some pics of where all of my work is done. you can see my guitars, keyboard, drum machine, 4 track recorder, and digital recorder. obviously it's all around my computer desk. this is where the magick happens!

confused trophy shop

I recently applied for a job at a spencerportian trophy shop. there was a test on the application that dealt with math and measuring type questions. they gave me a quick tour of the place and said that I would find out that weekend if I got the job or not. the weekend came and brought with it a letter from this place. the letter clearly stated that I did not get the job. then my phone rang this morning and guess who wanted me to come in for an interview? I got there and the guy acted like it was more of an orientation than an interview. I think it went well, but I have serious doubts about the state of mind involved in decision making in such a place. I guess it may work to my advantage though. I'll try my damnedest to play along and make an effort to milk it like the cash cow that I am currently in need of.
my sleep pattern has been getting worse recently. I was tired all of today and took 2 naps in the late afternoon because I stayed up until 4am last night and was rudely awakened at 10am for 6 hours of sleep.

whoops...

I just corrected a little mistake. if you can see this, try commenting on it. now you should be able to!
if you can't comment, find my email on the last post I put up about what do you want.

blog ideas

it's time for you to tell me something. I want to know what the readers of this blog want to see on it.
do you want more pictures? a contest? crazy stories of times long past that are far more interesting than my current living situation? more about my rats? do you want me to intentionally get into a situation where adventure must occur just so I can blog about it?
let me know by emailing zzajlatem@gmail.com
I'll never be able to add that one thing that you want if you don't tell me what it is.

pointless impossibility

I've come up against some challenges in the past that should have been avoided. I face one now as well: finding a job.
why should I get a job? so i can almost be independent again? sure, I'll be able to pay for rent, electric bill, internet service, food, gas for my car... but what about my cell phone bill? car insurance? these things are expensive. my natural inclination then is to get a job in brockport. then I won't need the damned car. that would free up TONS of money to pay my cell phone with. imagine if I didn't have to do 2-5 hundred dollar repairs on that stupid thing every few months.
if I do get said regular job, it will drive me insane again just like any other job. this will lead to substance abuse in an effort to make my mind capable of dealing with the work day. when I'm not at work, I'll be doing drugs.
college is an option. what to study is the most difficult question in the world. I'll either like it and not be able to make money when I finish, or hate it and get a boring job when it's done.
tough questions to answer whatever way you look at it. it's also a lose lose situation no matter what. the only good outcome I could imagine is a computer programming job where I work from home and can do while I'm waiting for chemicals to kick in.

what I've been doing

I applied for 2 jobs recently. one is at the packaging place in holley and the other is at the trophy place in spencerport. I'd really like to work at the packaging place because of the direction of driving. always away from the sun (if it's an am to pm shift). I could care less about the trophy place. I only applied because they had an ad in the paper.
I've been making guitar mp3s like a madman and sending them to Greg. he said it was ok to only be in the left channel, so I plugged the effects processor into my digital recorder and away we go! I'm putting some really fast and heavy stuff into his email. hope he likes it.
my mom's got me drinking so much coffee that I can't sleep. she made 2 pots today and only drank one cup from each of them! she even saved me the leftovers from the first one because I was still sleeping. then when she got home at 9, we went to tim horton's for more coffee!
I learned to ping pong on the 4 track the other day. it turns out, it was very easy. now there's no limit to the number of instruments I can use per recording. I made 2 songs that night and posted 1 on myspace.
guess that's it for updates. blig you later.

more good movies

spun is a good film. it has mickey rourke and rob halford and I think the guy that plays frick in a scanner darkly and the main character from I heart huckabees. could be they all just look the same. ANYWAY, it's a drug movie and almost everyone in it is on crystal meth throughout the entire thing.
another one that I watched today is tideland. when I started it, I thought I was in for a continuation of spun, but this focuses on a girl who's parents die from some type of needle drugs. the girl even prepares injections for her father in the beginning of the film. it's a little soft for my tastes, but it's also very weird.

bad movies

I recently downloaded 2 movies that I must warn anyone who reads this not to watch.
across the universe is a musical. I stopped it in less than 5 minutes and deleted it. not recommended for people who like the type of films that I like.
the acid house is from eastern europe. everyone in it has such a thick brogue that they can't be understood by americans. unless YOU have said accent, you won't be able to tell what they are saying.
a GOOD movie that I saw is donnie darko. it's like a mind-effer flick. if you like to get your brains scrambled by the screen, you'll like this one.
crap movies really put me in a bad mood. it takes a long time for me to figure out what movies I should get and even longer to download them. then when I watch it and it's shit, I feel let down by it. the people who made it fucked up, the website that recommended it fucked up and the people who put it on utorrent fucked up. I fucked up too! I contributed to the bit torrent swarm by having it on my computer.

consequences of living with parents

the pictures you see are of the backs of my hands. that doesn't feel good. this is from the house being so cold that I have to wear 3 layers at all times. sometimes the only time that I get warm is when I'm in bed.
so, not only am I home all the time because I don't have a job, my dad is home all the time because his job was designed to not need him. sad thing is, HE DESIGNED IT! he creates walkthrough maintenance schedules for schools. once he has created it, he's not needed anymore. he spends all of his time on old car talk groups online.
my mom is usually at work. the library told her that she couldn't do teen programs outside of her normal schedule. these kids are wild and uncontrollable. most people would have rejoiced at this cut, but not her. she decided to leave an hour early in the afternoon, so she can show up for an hour at night to run her programs.
here i am, my hands are bleeding, i'm cold and my dad is at the bottom of the stairs just waiting for me to walk down them so he can "help" me. his version of help is to do whatever will piss you off the most.
my mom was just about to clean the floor or the bathroom or something. she had a bucket full of water and was pouring soap into it, and he says "I'm gunnah take ya fer a walk!" like he was being so awesome to decide to go for a walk right when my mom was in the middle of something that she couldn't just leave and get back to later. I VOLUNTEERED to go to lunch with him one day because I know he can't prepare food for himself. it took us an hour to get to a place 10 minutes away because he had to drive through all of the industrial neighborhood in holley and show me where to apply for a job. the whole time we were eating, all he did was lecture me about employment and all the way home too. that was the last time I go anywhere with just him. if he asks, I'll laugh at him and tell him no way!
this brings up the question:
what if someone treated him like he treats everyone else?
I'm very tempted to say...
let's find out!